Eagles wings

The wind blowing in my face,
A warm feel beneath my grip,
A contented embrace
A comfort never felt before,

Wind rushing through my hair,
I dare not open my eyes
I don’t want this to end
He knows what was,
is and is to come.

The clouds gently open
The sky a gentle blue
The sun a warm protect
Blessed am I, oh how blessed.

Qualms and disquiet fall from me
Knowing he has me
And my destiny
Soaring on to that hill

Golgotha a silent hill
Empty but not forgotten
The garden tomb void
Wings spiral and guide

No longer a weary soul
Enchanted by his grace
Enriched by his love
No need for feeble thought

Soaring, soaring, swooping,
High above mankind
The heavens praise his name
Safe at last, in his arms.

Riding on the wings of the eagle
Weary soul no more a burden
Oh how happy, the word I cry
An almighty yawp
Praise his name, praise Adonia.

lost?

Back against the ominous city gates
Oppression flowing through the streets
Darkness passes by my window
Seeping through the cracks

This room a prison cell
Tortures of happiness
Age a challenge undefeated
Lord come set me free.

310bpm my mind takes off
Spaghetti junction of thought
No control over any
No junction rest stop

Sleep drifts from my grasp
Mind too busy, no peace
Off switch broken or lost
Pillow a sharp nuisance

Many bodies little space
Many noises little peace
Many spaces none free.
Needing an escape.

God Speaks, I cant hear
His voice pulled away
By mindless currents
I am trying, really

Help me out God,
Show me stillness
Where I know you are
Give me peace to hear

That’s all I ask…. All I ask

where was alice and the white rabbit

the cushioned chair a gentle comfort for a weary soul
Gods word before me a soothing reminder of the love and mercy i recieve.
James letter to the tribes our study of the night,
tired eyes read on pondering the advice
mind drifts out of conversation
like a ship leaving port.

ears faintly hear the discusion
eyes widely staring at the page
words dancing and shaking like a rocket at launh
with a burst of light and mist
the words spiral off the page around me
like a hurricane of word and light and mist.

then i hear a voice like a man reading
reading his thoughts a he writes.
after he has spoken, i dive,
in a warp like fashion through God's word.

i arrive in a white room full of white
floating in the air are verses linked to James.
"now do you understand" echoes a voice.
i shrug my shoulders still perplexed.

in response the passages morph and twist
solid masses now imagery of the verses.
big black embossed letters fly before me,
like a speeding train,
STAND FIRM IN GOD, RESIST THE DEVIL

without wait, I entered a large white space,
where beside me stood a Roman centurion,
wearing the armour of God.
before him stood a large raging bull,
it began to charge, the soldier stood firm.

I hid behind the soldier in fear,
only to see his back was not protected,
the bull kept coming, the soldier stood firm.
he won, because he did not turn and flee.

Then the voice echoed again,
"do you understand now?"
still perplexed i nodded and hmmmed.

out of the light and words i flew,
pulsing out like the beat of a heart,
every pulse faster than before,
back to the cushioned comfort.

now i understood,
STAND FIRM IN GOD AND RESIST THE DEVIL
still within my minds eye.

delusion or not, I dont know,
all i know is Alice and the white rabbit,
were not there....

this happened to me while in homegroup.

No Time to Stand and Stare

I have come to realisation about time. As of late, I have been working ridiculous hours, training at early hours, trying to fit as many things into my week as is unhumanly possible. I have been learning to get by on at max 3-4 hours sleep. I probably already knew the dangers of this, but threw them into the gutter along with all other common sense. I did indeed feel the strain all this work and no play was having on my health.

I was listening to a sermon by Pastor Mark Driscoll, it was part of a series on knee high mia, (Nehamiah) this particular sermon was talking about how it is important to make use of the gift of sabbath. Now we are not talking about `the official sabbath` Saturday for the Jews and Sunday for us God fearing gentiles.(for that is a whole other sermon) No what we are talking about is the gift of quality time with God, without any distractions or without badly attempting to multi task. This made me realise how important it is to have a sabbath, even if it is on a tuesday. I had been trying to fit God into the few short minutes I had free during the week, instead of setting aside a day just for him.

So I have decided I am going to try and set aside a day for the Lord, and hopefully feel the goodness it will have on my physical, spiritual and emotional health. I hope also I will gain a certain closeness to God that I have kind of sidelined.

cf Ecclesiasties 3, there is a time for everything.

So stay tuned and I will update on how well or badly this went...

the page

this one is a weird one, written waiting for the train, then on the train.

the cold blank page
stares at me withered with age
flames rolling, twisting writhing
fierce in my head
the need to warm the page
with thoughts that will bring life
and warmth to this cold page

flames sparked by let downs
false hope and beautiful catastrophe
to be's or not to be's,
to do's or not to do's
the ashes of burnt sacrificial life
thoughts reaching the temple
focus is not any clearer
than a steamy winter window.

sun glistening, dancing, spinning, rippling,
to be in that nirvana state
lifeless but full of flight
what joy that would be

sweet distraction,
mindless numbing
fast paced trees and shrubs
drops travelling the unkown way
distracted by nothing but its path

to be the raindrop or glistening dancing dust
to be at ease, what dreams would be
so awesome and bellisimo
but to try for,
only makes the metaphorical corridor
all the more longer
the end unreachable
unfathomable end,
against my cognitive ways.

lost...

a fiery peace

this one I wrote when i was feeling down, a wee while back.

going nowhere very fast
unsure which route i should take
feeling, thinking without a breath

the road with ease looks good
the height looks welcoming
toes touching the edge
slight wobble as breeze passes

trying hard, but something
someone stopping me
looking up take a breath
all faces look to him
innocence is calling

this face I recognise
he has called before
ignorance no longer bliss
heart is broken and tugged

there he hangs
"it is finished" he cries
he breathes his last

i step down
fall to my knees
who is this man
that he takes it for me

i curl up open my arms
and plead..
'take me back,
forgive me,fill my life'

immediately all is clear
a fire burns within again
life seems full again
i see a shadow, look up,
there he stands his hand outstretched

the dark clouds part
my mind breathes
i take his hand and smile
there is nothing else i need

he walks with me
we talk
Im reminded of what he did
he slows me down
I breathe relief
he sends me the right way

still unsure of where i head
i toddle on in peace
life makes sense

sovreignty and love glow from his face
i look back to see him
he has gone
in my heart i know he is there

Early Summer Night

I lay awake dressed for day
but to work the hours of night
the sound of heavy subdued breath
a dangerous but soothing sound to my ears

to refresh, I go out to the garden
greeted by sweet smells of summer day
the sweet summer breeze brings joy to my naze
the sound of sleeping seas from the grand oak above.

the last birds and mammals sleep,
as darknesses quilts the sky
back inside my coffee beckons hot
my mind ablaze with plans and ponders

bed springs moan under heavy sleep
rustling quilts and readjusting pillows
breathing now heavy and subdued,
8hours I remind myself, eyes get heavy.

8 hours til i can feel the cold pillows sweet embrace
til i can feel the sweet smelling condolance of a cotton hug,
8hours til my plans and ponders are filed away
til my eyes behind closed doors dance a happy REM.

I wish those 8 Hours would come quickly, before dried eyes and a loosened neck fall into the hands of sleeps temptuous grasp.